Abuser loves power & control.

Those two words, power, and control are what abusers get off on. If it means physical violence, they will go that far to make sure you won’t leave them. Take a look at the list below of how an abuser will try to keep you trapped in the relationship.

Intimidation, Coercion & Threats.

  • Guilt-tripping you
  • Tries to manipulate you and your children
  • Uses empty threats to harm you
  • Will display a gun or other weapon towards you
  • Destroy material things that you valued
  • Does things frighten you
  • Harm your pets to get back at you

Abuses you Financially.

  • Will spend your money and never be held responsible for it
  • Spends money on him or herself
  • Neglects family needs with irresponsible spending
  • Won’t let you have access to your own bank account.
  • Being treated like a child, being given an allowance.
  • Won’t allow you to have a job at all.

Children can be used too.

  • Threaten to take the child or children if you decide to leave.
  • Threaten to report you for abuse to Child Services.
  • Brainwash the child or children against you.
  • Abuses your children if you don’t give them attention.
  • If you don’t comply with the abuser, he or she may threaten to hurt your children.

The abuser will always try to blame the behavior on you.

  • He or she will deny any abusive behavior.
  • Enjoy gaslighting you.
  • Disregard your feelings completely.

The abuser will make you feel isolated.

  • Won’t let you talk to your friends and family.
  • Make sure that you don’t have a way to go see anyone by taking away transportation.
  • You probably won’t be allowed to have a phone, if you are, he or she will be in control of it.
  • You won’t be allowed to have friends or even make new friends.
  • He or she will put your friends and family at risk of being harmed if they try to help you.

Emotional abuse is real too.

  • You’ll be the victim of mind games.
  • You’ll likely be tracked or spied on; the abuser will be jealous and possessive over you.
  • If you have sensitive information that you did not want to be shared, it’ll likely be shared.
  • You’ll be putting up with put downs and name-calling.
  • You’ll also have to deal with embarrassment because the abuser will do anything to make you look bad.
  • You’ll never be good enough for the abuser when they start judging you for your looks, weight, and more.
  • The abuser will likely let you have enough sleep.
  • You won’t be able to think for yourself because you’ll get in trouble.

Sexual abuse always happens in domestic abusive relationships.

  • The abuser will pressure sex, even if you don’t want to.
  • The abuser won’t care if you’re enjoying the experience or not, as long as it benefits them.
  • They make you do things that you’re not comfortable with.
  • The abuser will have affairs and will expect you to be okay with it.
  • If you’re the one who wanted intimacy, they will purposely withhold that against you.
  • You could be forced to have sex, which would mean rape, and you’d be forced to stay quiet about it.