Abuser loves power & control.Those two words, power, and control are what abusers get off on. If it means physical violence, they will go that far to make sure you won’t leave them. Take a look at the list below of how an abuser will try to keep you trapped in the relationship.
Intimidation, Coercion & Threats.
- Guilt-tripping you
- Tries to manipulate you and your children
- Uses empty threats to harm you
- Will display a gun or other weapon towards you
- Destroy material things that you valued
- Does things frighten you
- Harm your pets to get back at you
Abuses you Financially.
- Will spend your money and never be held responsible for it
- Spends money on him or herself
- Neglects family needs with irresponsible spending
- Won’t let you have access to your own bank account.
- Being treated like a child, being given an allowance.
- Won’t allow you to have a job at all.
Children can be used too.
- Threaten to take the child or children if you decide to leave.
- Threaten to report you for abuse to Child Services.
- Brainwash the child or children against you.
- Abuses your children if you don’t give them attention.
- If you don’t comply with the abuser, he or she may threaten to hurt your children.
The abuser will always try to blame the behavior on you.
- He or she will deny any abusive behavior.
- Enjoy gaslighting you.
- Disregard your feelings completely.
The abuser will make you feel isolated.
- Won’t let you talk to your friends and family.
- Make sure that you don’t have a way to go see anyone by taking away transportation.
- You probably won’t be allowed to have a phone, if you are, he or she will be in control of it.
- You won’t be allowed to have friends or even make new friends.
- He or she will put your friends and family at risk of being harmed if they try to help you.
Emotional abuse is real too.
- You’ll be the victim of mind games.
- You’ll likely be tracked or spied on; the abuser will be jealous and possessive over you.
- If you have sensitive information that you did not want to be shared, it’ll likely be shared.
- You’ll be putting up with put downs and name-calling.
- You’ll also have to deal with embarrassment because the abuser will do anything to make you look bad.
- You’ll never be good enough for the abuser when they start judging you for your looks, weight, and more.
- The abuser will likely let you have enough sleep.
- You won’t be able to think for yourself because you’ll get in trouble.
Sexual abuse always happens in domestic abusive relationships.
- The abuser will pressure sex, even if you don’t want to.
- The abuser won’t care if you’re enjoying the experience or not, as long as it benefits them.
- They make you do things that you’re not comfortable with.
- The abuser will have affairs and will expect you to be okay with it.
- If you’re the one who wanted intimacy, they will purposely withhold that against you.
- You could be forced to have sex, which would mean rape, and you’d be forced to stay quiet about it.