Stop making excuses for your partner.
When you’re in love with someone, you will often stick up for them. But in an abusive relationship, you may think that you don’t need to ask for help. Why? Here are the reasons:
You think you can handle it yourself.
It’s normal to feel that you don’t need to ask for help because it’ll make you look “weak”. Or stupid. Putting up with the abuse is not ok, and it’s absolutely ok to ask for help. Abusers need you to be silent so that they can have complete control of you. Please research information of domestic abuse so that you can make informed decisions for yourself. After that, you should call the National Teen Dating Violence at 1-866-331-9474 or go to the website at www. loveisrespect.org. Anything that you say on the calls is confidential and there are teen advocates available to help you with the next step.
But “I” love him or her!
This is the second most common reason people don’t leave their partners. They’re under the illusion that their partners love them. Truthfully, if a partner loves you, you wouldn’t be questioning this. It truly takes two people to make a relationship work.
They can’t live without you.
Sometimes this is a good thing, but in a healthy, loving relationship. If they’re extremely possessive and jealous, then no, this is not healthy. You may feel compelled to fix their issues. But believe us, sometimes it doesn’t work, and they truly need the help of a professional, such as a therapist. If you are afraid they may be suicidal, you need to tell either his or her parents, a school counselor, your own parents, or another trusted adult who can help.
You’re afraid of them.
You should never feel afraid in a relationship. If you’re worried about how your parents may react when they find out about the abuse, you really shouldn’t be. Sometimes, ending a relationship with an abuser can be extremely dangerous. If you are under the age of 18 and live in Indiana, your parents or legal guardians can file a protective order on your behalf. They can also help you make a safety plan too. If you need more help to make that plan, contact your local domestic violence agency or go to this website, www.endabuse.org.
Violence can happen, especially in a relationship. Please don’t let your worries go silent. There are people out there who want to know what is going on. They can also help you decide what to do for yourself and help you decide what is best for you.
Fear of being alone.
You may have a fear of abandonment because you don’t want to be alone. But, it’s actually much healthier if you have some space, whether it’s a healthy relationship. Go pursue that hobby you’ve been putting off. Go see your friends, spend some time with your family. Focus on school and your future. Make a plan for the future. You do not need to be in a relationship in order to be functional. So it’s important to prioritize your well-being.